these phantoms made of flies

the chosen rise to trial

can you smash the vial

as it is filled with clouds

i come to you in flames

the eyes that watch a game

and this banner we raise

they aren't asking now

they're only tasking now

a tree that is too long

my father and i in therapy together, where i spoke of the idea of going to a baseball game, and he said he'd have to know something before dropping a thousand dollars on a plane ticket to come to one with me, and i said actually i was intending to go with friends, because id heard they go and drink beer and just sort of converse and wait for something to happen. my dad laughed but i couldn't tell if he was sad i didn't want to go with him. i said things are getting desperate with money situation and paying for health, but im trying, and he said it's cause you don't have a fucking job

i was in the basement of someone's house with my mom and there were many people then just us. i was getting ready in another room and i think she forgot i was there and almost left without me. it took me a long time to get ready. i felt deep, human fear in the basement. I felt insight on the fact that i could feel happiness and satisfied in a meditative state despite this condition of fear.

i was driving in massachusetts when there was a sudden transition to a more rural road, and fewer and fewer of the approaching cars had their headlights on and visibility was getting poor. it was snowy or rainy like, or maybe just crushingly dark. the other side of the road was completely blocked by construction. ambulances were coming and I heard their sirens but their lights were dark. it was getting harder to see and the road's twists were getting faster. my navigation said something like "it has been completed" and i was run off the road by a sudden turn, and my car fell and my body was falling in the void and my navigation said i "would be falling for 77 miles" so i just let go in the air as I fell deeper. void land (?) everything monochromatic lots of cold lots of warm

i woke up but realized I was still asleep. i sensed it in the room. music was playing that wasn't there when i went to sleep. i let it walk around my room and close my doors. i occupied a geometrically impossible position relative to the walls. i kept my eyes closed.

i woke up and went to check my phone. i couldn't get it to unlock. i realized the phone case had started to fall off. i had the sudden concern someone had messed with it. i moved it back into place and realized it was rotated incorrectly. i whimpered because I was worried faith's hair fell out. i took my phone out of the case to use my flashlight. i couldn't get the screen to turn on. i realized I was touching the back of the phone. i tried to turn it, but both faces were the back face. i turned it more and every face was the back face. i realized i was probably dreaming. i walked over to my bedroom door's curtains and decided that there would be dead air behind it if it were a dream. i dropped my head through and it was dead air. i looked up and my door was open and the kitchen light was on. i sensed a presence and prepared myself

i drove to a pizza place that i think she had told me to go to, but i wasn't sure. i tried to park, but almost ran into a number of cars. i felt so tired i could die. i could barely keep my eyes open. it had been a 19 minute drive and I was scared that I could remember almost none of it. i didn't feel safe to be operating a motor vehicle. i didn't remember why I came to the pizza place. i think i was supposed to be meeting her or someone. i tried to back out of my parking spot but someone was directly behind me, as if they were going to drive into me. the spot they were in didn't make sense for achieving any discrete goals. their car was yellow. i backed up slowly and couldn't tell if I was going to hit them. i drove not very far. i pulled my car over and parked it next to an excavator crane that was doing construction. i got out of my car dangerously close to it. i signaled wildly at the man in the machine to come talk to me. he got out and I said something along the lines of "I don't know what's happening to me, I don't feel safe, my mind is falling apart, I drove here and I feel like I could fall asleep at any instant, I don't know if I'm having a narcoleptic episode or what's going on," and the thought occurred that maybe this was the first of many narcoleptic episodes. he walked with me on the beach and was very concerned. i think he asked me questions, with a calm lucidity. we walked into the water together. we got up to about our waist when he said we should turn back, but by then, I felt better

there was this place I would drive through multiple times and one time I saw multiple video game controllers on the backs of cars being given away for free, presumably not in fully working condition. i stopped to pick them up, and as I was getting in the backseat of my car to put them in, a man and his child entered my car. he got in the driver's seat, because I hadn't locked the door. he reached back and put something under my nose that made me feel fuzzy. i escaped out the trunk and tried to run away from the man, who was giving chase. people were yelling. i ran along the side of a building, and two people came out of a secured door and subtly held it open for me. i went inside and hid. there was another door inside the room, but it didn't look as secure. i was alone. i wasn't sure if I was supposed to go through that door, but I decided to stay where I was. there was a lot of commotion outside. right as i noticed the secured door was not sealed all the way, the man came in. we looked at each other for a brief second. then he shot me in the throat. i tried to run around the room, to dodge his shots. i tried to breathe heavily, because i knew that if i survived, i probably wouldn't be able to do that anymore, and i wanted to remember what it felt like. i got shot more times. i timed a spin so his sixth shot only connected with my back. when i finished spinning, he shot me a seventh time. i lay there dying