i’m goin down to the city again but this time i’ll let myself breathe the smoke because i want to feel like one of you, i want to know where i’m from and have a history and everything, i’ll sign up for a membership if i have to or even wear a fucking flag. what’s this place called? hexvastica? that’s a beautiful name for something built out of steels and dust, pests and pesticides, part and parcel of something greater but also alone. looks like the trains are down today. i’m going to walk through the fire district, late and alone for all to see. nobody i pass looks at me for fewer than 4 seconds because i’m me, that’s right baby, and i can’t even begin to guess what’s going through their heads, so i’m not going to try. some might think i’m beautiful and some for 10,000% certain think i’m on drugs, but what they don’t know is that i think about each and every one of them each and every night right before i go to sleep. i remember everyone in the twilight before sleep breaks. i’m just walking down the street and trying to remember the way to the bookstore but all i can find are parking lots, day’s wages for an hour. ha! fat chance i’ll own anything big enough to keep there, they’d give me the poor award and kiss me goodbye at the door if i tried to leave my fattest object there for even five scanty minutes. time to call a cab once i figure out what the stupid local cadence is, i’m always messing up the timings and they leave before i can get a few words out, swallowing exhaust fumes whole and being reminded of what cream used to taste like. someday i’ll figure out how to burn down the suburbs and sleep on the streets here where it makes sense, where things can be raw and human because there’s simply too much to monitor for the time-blasted police, all busy with full day shifts of sucking on hats to see if any flavor comes out. i go to the center of the city and i see where it all started. a sourdough starter kept intact for a thousand and a half years, songs and dances and fears of all the people kept intact along with it, all brewing in the microbial yeast that saves a story and keeps it for all to see.