WE’RE BACK AT IT AGAIN AND YOU ALMOST FEEL AS THOUGH WE HADN’T LEFT. WE RETURN TO OUR REGALING QUARTERS, READY TO FEED YOU THAT STUFF WE KNOW YOU LIKE; MORE TALES OF INTRIGUE, ENVY, JEALOUSY, DISGUST, SADNESS, DESPAIR, ENVY, JEALOUSY, AND INTRIGUE AWAIT YOU. AND MAYBE, LOVE...? WE ARRIVE THUSLY AT THAT OLDE CASTLE OF YOR. AS YOU MAY RECALL, OUR TWO HEROES (?) WERE LYING BESIDE EACH OTHER, AS THE PRICK-ME-DAINTY MAGICIAN WAS SHOWING THAT HIS STUFF HAD BEEN RIGHT SOILED BY THAT BESULCHED POTION. WE ZOOM IN OUR IMPLIED LENS, A LENS WHICH IS NOW MADE EXPLICIT BY THE PRECEDING EXPLICATION.

our kingdom’s shared love, heartthrob with a face to kill and die for, requirer of no identification, --- as you may recall, the prince: please, as we used to.. speak to me..

prince: please....

A LONG PAUSE OF ALL SPEECH ENSUES, DURING WHICH THE PRINCE WATCHES HER UNFORTUNATELY AFFLICTED CONSORTE AS HE BRASHES AND BELLOWSFUL ABOUT. HE IS EXCISING THE INAPROPOS HUMOUR FROM HIS SYSTEM.

THE MAGICIAN RETCHES, BUT NOTHING EXPELS.

magician: right, that should do it..

prince: my confidante! you have returned to your state-prior! oh, i will never take this for granted for the rest of my waking faces!

SHE FALLS HER HEAD ONTO THE CHEST OF HIM.

magician: AGH!

THE MAGICIAN ROLLS TO THE SIDE, MULTIPLICITOUS FULL REVOLUTIONS OF WONDERMENT. THE PRINCE’S HEAD IS LEFT, SUSPENDED IN MIDDLE-AIR, ABOVE WHERE ONCE THERE RESTED A MAGICIAN. THE MAGICIAN JUMPS TO HIS FEET AND BRANDISHES A WAND OF BIRCH AS THOUGH PREPARED TO STRIKE. IT IS OVER HIS HEAD. HE PREPARES TO BRING IT DOWN WITH THE FORCE OF A BELLOWS DOING WHAT IT IS SUPPOSED TO DO.

THE PRINCE ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY, WITH MULTIPLICITOUS FULL REVOLUTIONS OF ANGUISH. WHERE ONCE SHE LIED, THERE IS LEFT NAUGHT BUT A VERY SMALL IMPRINT OF THE WAND INTO THE GROUND, LIKE I’M TALKING IT PUSHED MAYBE AN EIGHTH OF AN INCH INTO THE GROUND, AND THE GROUND ITSELF WAS PRETTY LOAMY. STEPPING ON IT PROBABLY TAKES IT DOWN HALF AN INCH, JUST FOR REFERENCE.

THE PRINCE LOOKED AT THE WAND-MARK WITH HORROR. SHE COULD NOT IMAGINE THE AMOUNT OF DAMAGE SHE WOULD HAVE SUSTAINED HAD SHE STILL BEEN THERE. IT MAY HAVE EVEN BRUISED. WELL, IF SHE DIDN’T MAKE IT TO THE INFIRMARY FOR PROPER CARE, IN TIME. OR IF SHE FORGOT TO APPLY ENOUGH PRESSURE TO IT BECAUSE IT DIDN’T HURT ENOUGH TO DEMAND ATTENTION.

THE PRINCE, UNUSED TO BATTLE, IS STILL STUCK IN THE PAST.

THE MAGICIAN, BATTLE-SCARRED, IS PREPARING SOMETHING TO CAST.

prince: no! whither has your mind gone! where have you gone!

BUT THE MAGICIAN’S EYES ARE FILLED ONLY WITH COLD CERTAINTY. HE RAISES HIS REBIRCHED WAND AND INVOKES A COVER OF SMOKES. THE COLORS ARE UNNATURAL: YELLOWS, REDS, PURPLES, AND MOST NEFARIOUSLY, LIME.

THE PRINCE CRACKS AN IDEA IN THAT SMALL HEAD OF HERS, THAT, WHILE SMALL, NEVERTHELESS GENERATES MANY IDEAS FOR GETTING MAGICIANS CLOSER TO HER. SHE REMEMBERS A PLAY SHE ONCE MOSTLY SLEPT THROUGH, WHERE SOMEONE WAS CAST UNDER A SPELL OF BERSERKING, AND WHO WAS BROUGHT BACK TO HIS SENSES BY WAY OF LOVE AND FAMILIARITY. PLEAS SENT OUT BEGGINGLY TO REMEMBER AND RECALL WHO, AND WHEN, AND WHY YOU CAME HERE. THAT WHICH YOU VALUE. SHE DECIDED IT WAS WORTH AN ATTEMPT, NO MATTER HOW MEAGER.

prince: my esper! my prestigiator! think back to your oath solemnified in blood! please, remember, it is me, your sweet thronelet. do you not remember?

magician: ack...

THE MAGICIAN CLUTCHES HIS HEAD, AS IF OVERTAKEN BY SOMETHING UNRELATED, OR PERHAPS RELATED TO WHAT SHE IS SAYING. THOUGH IT SEEMS AS THOUGH IT WAS PROBABLY UNRELATED, AS HE CHARGES HER AGAIN.

IN SO DOING, HIS MOMENTUM BECOMES, FOR A BRIEFLING, UNSTOPPABLE. IT IS AT THIS MOMENT THAT A ROOT OF A TREE MAKES ITSELF KNOWN UNDER THE MAGICIAN’S ROISTERING STEP. THE MAGICIAN IS CATAPULTED INTO THE AIR, AND MAKING QUICK WORK TOWARDS THE GROUND.

NOW, IT IS AT THIS TIME THAT I FEEL THE NEED TO CLARIFY SOMETHING ABOUT THE WAY MAGICIANS INTERACT WITH OUR NATURAL WORLD. THEY FOLLOW THE RULE OF “WHAT GOES OUT MUST COME IN,” AND OTHER SUCH PHRASES. SO, WHEN YOU OR I HIT THE GROUND, WE WOULD PROBABLY BE DOWN THERE FOR A GOOD LONG WHILE, UNTIL WE GET UP, OR AN ALLY CHOOSES TO SHEPHERD US BACK TO THE LAND OF THE WALKING. FOR A MAGICIAN, HOWEVER, THINGS ARE DIFFERENT; THIS MOMENTUM OF THE MAGICIAN GOING DOWN INTO THE OUTSIDE’S NATURALLY-FORMED “FLOOR” WILL MAINTAIN ITSELF, AND WILL BOUNCE OUR DEAR RUNEMAKER RIGHT BACK UP SKYWARD TO BALANCE HIMSELF OUT. THIS IS KNOWN WIDELY TO HAVE A MENTAL EFFECT ON MAGICIANS THAT IS ROUGHLY EQUIVALENT TO IF YOU OR I STOOD UP WITH OVERZEALOUS HASTE, AMPLIFIED BY ABOUT EIGHTEENFOLD, GIVE OR TAKE A FEWFOLD. AS THE MAGICIAN APPROACHES THAT PLATEAU KNOWN AS THE GROUN--

THIS SEEMS TO BE ALL THE TIME WE HAVE TODAY, FOLKS. YOU MUST RETURN AT A PREDETERMINED DATE THAT WILL BE RELEASED SOMETIME IN THE NEXT 90 DAYS TO WITNESS THE END OF THIS THRILLING CONCLUSION OF THIS TALE THAT HAS TWISTS AND TURNS THAT WOULD PUT A COUNTRY ROAD TO SHAME. THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU ARE! GO OUT, AND BE SOMETHING NEW, AND UNUSUAL!