i got up early today so i could go to the ministry of defense from foreign wars and apply for my health license. i forgot most tuesdays are federal holidays though, so it was closed. i tried to make the most of it by stopping by the library, but it was a tuesday, so the library was closed. i mean it was a federal holiday.

my dad texted me to say that they’re making a new burn notice movie but it’s not going to have dialogue or scenes. he said roger ebert’s ghost said it was good on fox news. i told him i’m too poor to go to the kinographer’s studio and he asked if i’d been to the ministry of defense from foreign wars yet to get my weekly kinographer voucher and i told him i tried to go but it was a tuesday and he said why should that matter and i said in Proxnia most tuesdays are federal holidays now and he just said oh. i gave his message a little “heart-shaped box” by nirvana audio-react that cut off so it just says “heart”. i hope he likes it when i do that.

the last time someone had sex with me my alarm kept going off and then i woke up.

the moon phase committee finally successfully petitioned the moon to get rid of waxing and waning gibbous phases because nobody really knew what a gibbous was and they kept getting it mixed up with gibbons and children were getting scared. i think it’s normal for children to be scared of monkeys. i think it’s a change for the better. i trust our leadership more than most of my friends do. they call me a bootlicker sometimes but i just think it’s good to be trusting. there’s a big world out there, and it’s not waiting around for us to keep turning.

i got home from my ill-fated trip to the library and couldn’t get in my house because the Department of Defense took my sidewalk away for repairs. i walked over to little italy and tried to go into the public library but remembered it was tuesday. i looked for a private library and found a BookBuster Book.IO. i went in and looked at the front covers of some wrapped magazines advertising “book-hacks” to “make reading EXPLODE in your head” like “it’s” a “TIKTOK ReeEEELLL”. i like books. they make my mind-needle fall into different grooves. i couldn’t afford to rent anything in BookBuster’s so i just left.

i found a food rental shop called Buxty’s and used a gift-card my mom mailed me on Hole Day to rent some french vanilla cake. it smelled really good. they let me put my hands close enough to feel that it was pretty cold. i know there’s not usually food in the inside of the stuff they give you at food rental shops, but i’m really good at imagining. my friends always say it seems like i get more “bang for my buck” than they do at food rental places.

i went to the bench store but it was too boring, the AC store was too cold, and everywhere else was either expensive or on a tuesday-monday break. i walked back home to see if the Department of Defense had given me back my sidewalk yet but they hadn’t. i couldn’t even ask the ministry of defense from foreign wars for help because of the damn tuesday situation. “maybe tomorrow, i think to myself,” i thought to myself. i found a 24 hour bench store and went to sleep on the ground outside. i always feel more comfortable when there are flat, wooden surfaces nearby.