i woke up feeling tired as sin. i paid the $4 for an express tube home and wrapped myself in my jacket tightly, so as not to chafe. the tube dropped me off at the end of my subdivision, and i saw nobody was coming down the one-way pedestrian zone so i walked the wrong way because it saves 8 minutes.

i got inside and checked on my pet bacteria cultures in my room. a lot of scientists are working on finding cures for diseases, but i think they’re kind of cute. after all, it doesn’t get much smaller than an infection! i fed one a molecule because it looked hungry, then i put the cold lamp back on it. it’s not safe to pet the bacteria, so i pet the cold lamp, but it made my hand cold.

sometimes, when i get lonely, i like to talk to my walls about everything we’ve seen together. me and these walls have shared a lot. or they tell me about the really old people who used to live here who just ate peas all the time and would do a lot of drugs and answer every jeopardy question correctly. i wish i could’ve met them, but i guess if they still lived here, i wouldn’t be able to live here. thinking about stuff like that hurts my head. people always talk about how things could be, but i get stuck on what is. my doctors say i have an underactive imagination.

my friend lalo is coming over today. i think she’s going to want to kiss me. i like when she kisses me, and tells me i’m pretty. i don’t know if i’m pretty or not, because i have a reflection deficiency, so i can’t really see anything in mirrors. but she tells me i am, and maybe that can be good enough for me. lalo is very soft, and nice. she’s like if a blanket was a person.

i first met lalo at the public library. she was standing completely still outside and i thought she was a statue. she had chainmail armor on, her face was painted like a clown, there were christmas ornaments hanging off various parts of her, and she had a katana in a scabbard on her hip. i was reading the book i had borrowed, Altered States of Consciousness by William S Burroughs, which is about altered states of consciousness, and it had been about two hours. i was sitting, staring forward, trying to alter my state of consciousness, when i saw her move. i thought it was the most amazing things i’d ever seen, so i ran over to her and asked her how she did it. she smiled, and told me it was all she knew how to do.

lalo says she’s going to bring the movie adaptation of Altered States of Consciousness and i’m pretty interested to see how they made it into a movie. but i think usually she just puts a movie on because she likes background noise to vibrate in time with while she gets up the courage to kiss me. lalo is so sweet. i think she’s made up of something special, something special that came from somewhere else. i hope i can give her something that makes her feel as nice as she does when she stands outside libraries.